My Heart Won't Go On
by bigtimecrush21
Summary: Ellie and James. Forever in love. Hadley and James. Can it last any longer?
1. Chapter 1: Introduction

**My Heart Won't Go On**

*I DO NOT OWN BIG TIME RUSH a.k.a. James, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan*

**I play myself and any other characters are based on someone realistically, but are fictional**

**Introduction**

Hadley Givens had the boy of her dreams. _The_ James Maslow from Big Time

Rush. Everything was going right, until James reconnects with his lifelong best f

riend and former girlfriend, Ellie. Hadley ends up learning to let go and face the

fact that true love stays with you, even though you try to move on. James and

Ellie find this out the hard way.

_His heart will __never__ move on from the girl he has always loved._


	2. Chapter 2: What To Do

**Chapter Two: What To Do.**

"I can't figure out what's better. The fact that he is laying beside me or the fact that he loves me," Hadley thinks to herself.

She turns to her side and sits her head on James' chest.

She breaks the silence, "Isn't it a beautiful day?" she sighs.

"Everything's beautiful to me," James replies as he smiles softly.

He kisses her on the forehead, stretches, and goes to the bathroom.

Hadley can't help but smile to herself.

James peeks his head out the bathroom door.

"I have to work today with the boys at the studio, but we can do something tonight," he mumbles due to the fact he is brushing his teeth at the same time.

"I'll wait for you forever," Hadley replies.

James leans up against the doorframe with his jeans on and shirtless. His tan skin glistens in the sunlight peering through his apartment window. He grabs his plaid pajama pants off of the bathroom floor and flings them in the hamper. He leans across the bed and kisses Hadley on the cheek.

"I'll love you forever," he says in reply.

James finishes getting ready and heads out.

"Tonight!" James says smiling as he is going out the door.

Hadley decides to turn on the television and E! News is on. Coincidentally, a picture of her and James pops up, but rips in half.

The host comes on. "The latest rumor in Hollywood! Has Big Time Rush hottie, James Maslow, dumped his girlfriend, Hadley Givens? Well, seen here, the pop star seems to have moved on."

On the screen, James is seen walking with a brunette into the studio where Big Time Rush is recording.

Hadley flips out and calls James right away.

"GET OVER HERE, NOW!" yells Hadley angrily.

"I can't come right now, babe. I'm really busy," James replies.

"Yeah, right, whatever. I know what you're doing." She hangs up on him.

Meanwhile in the studio, James takes the phone from his ear and shoves it in his back pocket. He turns to Karlee, Kendall's best friend (and crush :]), who was bringing back lattes for the gang. She hands Logan, who was sitting on the sound controls, a latte, then sits down next to James, who has an extremely puzzled look on his face.

"You okay?" Logan asks.

"Not really. Hadley's mad at me and I have no idea why," he says addressing both Logan and Karlee.

"She texted me this morning saying you said you will love her forever or something like that," Karlee replies.

"She probably thinks you're back together with Ellie," Logan says making a gesture towards the recording booth. In the recording booth are Kendall, Carlos, and Ellie working on vocals. Ellie isn't well known, but she does a lot of background for the boys. She is tall, average size, and has on ripped black skinnies, black Converse's, a black t-shirt, and a light purple and gray hoodie with a homemade cut V-neck. She catches Logan staring at her and removes the headphones from one of her ears.

"Uh, Logan? You're staring again," Ellie laughs.

Logan turns back to James and clears his throat.

"News says you and Hadley split," says Karlee tapping on her iPhone.

"Ugh, those people never leave me alone. Ellie and I are only friends," James says.

"You sure about that? You know how these things turn out, James," Logan replies.

James thinks for a moment. "Yeah. We're just friends. I think. I don't know. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT LOGAN."

"You left a great girl," Logan says picking up his latte and leaves the room.

"It's okay, J. Let him cool off," Karlee chimes as she walks out.

James sits there. Alone.

He looks though the glass and sees Ellie laughing at something Carlos did and admires her smile.

He smiles to himself.

"I didn't do anything wrong," he sighs.


	3. Chapter 3: Why Hide It?

**Chapter Three: Why Hide It?**

Kendall comes in, still laughing. "What's up, JD?" he asks smiling.

"Everything."

"What's wrong?"

Kendall spots a latte, smiles, and sits down.

"Everything is wrong, Kendall. Hadley is mad because the paparazzi showed a clip of me holding the door open for Ellie and us walking together and they said Hadley and I split. And I said 'I don't know' to the question if Ellie and I are just friends. It's like everyone's mad at me," James says without taking a breath.

Kendall looks around. " Woah. That…uh…that sucks. I don't know what to tell you, man."

"You, too?" James exclaims disgusted. He storms outside, sits on a bench, and hangs his head.

Kendall follows him. "Dude, I'm not mad at you. I just didn't know what to say. I'm bad at these things. You know me. I can't even tell my best friend that I lo—like like her. But you're James. You can figure this mess out."

James looks up at Kendall. "Logan thinks I still love Ellie. I think I do, but I just don't know."

"You're still technically dating Hadley, though. And Logan is Logan. He'll get over it all."

"Hadley's gonna freak. She is probably sitting at her house crying."

"I'm not gonna lie to you, but you have yourself in a shitty situation, man."

"That's what I'm saying."

"Well, I'm going back inside. You stay out here and think about everything."

Kendall punches James' arm and heads back inside. James sighs as he takes out his phone to text Hadley, but ends up texting Ellie instead, even though she is right upstairs in the studio.

"ily," he types.

"u do?" Ellie replies.

"yes."

He shuts his phone quickly and tries to hide it as Logan comes around the corner.

"Hey, are you gonna drink your la—what are you hiding?"

Logan sees the phone and takes it away from James.

"Wait, Logan! Give it back! It's my phone and none of your business!"

"You told Ellie you LOVE her? What about Hadley?"

"Quit yelling at me! I am so confused. Why are you so concerned about me being with Hadley and not Ellie. You're making Ellie seem like a bad person."

Carlos runs outside and butts in. "Woah, woah, woah, guys. Calm down. Logan can't think Ellie's a bad person. He has a crush on her!" he finishes with a smile.

"CARLOS!" yells Logan. "Shut up!"

"OOOHHH, I see," says James, " well, Ellie loves me and I DO love her. I'm gonna fix this. Goodbye."

Kendall and Carlos look at each other confused.

"Screw, 'I'll love you forever.' James is a fucking liar," says Logan.

As James stands on just the other side of the glass doors, he looks at his phone to see a new message from Ellie.

"wow, james. um i love you 2. but you still have a gf. how can I know for sure that you mean it? idk james. we'll talk later." 


	4. Chapter 4: It's All Downhill From Here

**Chapter Four: And It's All Downhill From Here**

James bursts back out the door in response to hearing what Logan just said.

"I am not a liar, Logan. I still love Hadley, but I never stopped loving Ellie. Ask Karlee. Or Shelby (Ellie's other best friend along with Karlee She has a crush on Logan and he thinks she's pretty). Hadley has been acting like a total bitch for a while now. I'm gonna go talk to Hadley later."

"You think she's gonna take it well, smartass," asks Logan, "she's gonna hate you!"

"Fine! Let her hate me! I told her I would love her forever. I never said I didn't. You're just pissed because Ellie loves **me** and **not you**. In fact, I have _two_ girls in love with me. You have, uh, let's see," James counts on his fingers in a mockingly fashion, "one…two…oh. _**NONE**_."

"Shut up, douche," Logan laughs as he walks away.

Kendall looks at James. "What happened to you?"

They all leave him once again and James is left to ponder on everything that's happening. After a few minutes, James goes back up to the studio, ignoring eye contact with anyone, and grabs his keys. As he's walking out, he hears Logan call to him.

"James!"

"What is it, Logan? Care to yell at me some more?"

"No. I just wanted to apologize for the way I was acting. I'm sorry. We just want our James back. Ellie or Hadley, whoever you choose, we will support you."

James gives Logan a hug and thanks him. He smiles and walks out. He gets in his car and decides to head to Hadley's house. But, before going any further, he thinks it's best that he calls first.

She answers, "What."

"I was just checking to see if you are home."

"Oh. Okay. Well, I have to continue crying now," she hangs up. James punches to steering wheel and speeds on. When he got to her house, he opened the door and saw Hadley, obviously, crying.

"Hadley, it's me. Can I come in and sit?"

"Sure. Are you gonna break up with me? I know you're seeing another girl."

"I didn't come here to break up. I just came to talk."

"Talk about what? How you have this other girl you want? How you say you and her are just buds, but you end up loving her," she screams at his face.

"Hadley, calm the hell down. You are going way out of line here!" James says sternly.

"Then what the hell is it? I know everything, James."

James sits there for a moment.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" Hadley asks smartly.

"If it's a cheater you want," he hesitate but continues, "it's a cheater you'll get. No. Wait. You won't get cheated on because, in fact, we _are_ done. I did nothing wrong! It's not like I went and slept with her or anything. All I did was fall in love with best friend and fall out of love with who I _thought_ was my best friend."

"I trusted you!" she yells.

"What am I supposed to say to you? Sorry? I have nothing to apologize for. I have somewhere to be. I am not a cheater or a liar."

James starts to walk away, but stops before he goes out the door.

He turns around. "You know, I told you I would love you forever. Well, this must be forever because I am **done** loving you."

About an hour and a half later, Hadley finally realizes what just happened. She calls Logan crying.

"He broke up with me!"

"You don't know that for sure, Hadley. He could just be saying that because he's pissed off."

"No, he stormed away and—I can't live like this. He hurt me. Do you support suicide?"

"Oh, shut up, Hadley. Don't say that."

"Ha, why not? I have a knife in my hand right now!"

Suddenly, Ellie bursts through the door.

"You know, you really shouldn't leave your door unlocked like that. Look, I know you don't like me very mu—why do you have a knife in your hand?" Ellie stutters.

"As if you don't know. James broke up with me. He said he didn't love me anymore."

"Look, put the knife down. James is in the hospital. He came up to my apartment barely moving. There was blood everywhere, so I called an ambulance."

"WHAT? What happened?"

"He crashed his car," she hesitates, "on purpose."


	5. Chapter 5: You Never Forgot

**Chapter 5: You Never Forgot**

"Why on earth would he do something like that?" Hadley says as she freaks out and paces across the floor.

"Calm down. Sit down. Just breathe," Ellie says as she guides Hadley to the couch.

Hadley looks up at Ellie. She sees peace and love. She looks at her eyes. They're brown. Dark brown. So brown, you can barely see her pupils. But, before you see color, you see tears. Caring. Worry. Concern.

"He'll be okay," says Ellie, holding back her sobs.

"We have to visit him now," Hadley says getting up and rushing around her house.

"The car's outside. You can just ride with me if you want."

"Okokokok. Just because he stopped loving me, doesn't mean I stopped loving him," Hadley says to herself.

Ellie acts like she didn't hear the statement and they rush out the door. In the car, Hadley begins to cry again.

"Stop crying," Ellie says to Hadley with her eyes on the road, "we have to stay strong for James so he'll stay strong for us."

"Man, I don't know. He almost could've died," says Hadley worryingly.

They pull up to the hospital and grabs Hadley before she rushed out of the car. "Being realistic, he could _still_ die. He is in the intensive care unit and they only allow immediate family in. Let me do all the talking and don't say anything. Do you understand?"

Hadley's eyes widen. "He could still die? Okay, I got it."

They walk into the elevator.

"I'm scared," Hadley says.

"Me, too," Ellie replies as the elevator doors close.

"Why did he crash on purpose?" asks Hadley.

Ellie remains silent for a moment. "He would've rather died than choose between me and you."

"He risked dying for us?"

A tear runs down Ellie's cheek, but she quickly wipes it away as they arrive at the ICU floor. They arrive at the desk and the nurse asks who they have come to see.

"James Maslow, ma'am," Ellie says.

"You must be immediate family to enter."

"I volunteered here over the summer. I know every doctor in this building. We're family, ma'am. Please let us see him. We are so sick with worry."

The nurse doesn't hesitate to let them in. "He's in room 221."

219, 220, 221. They enter the room and see James lying there on the hospital bed. Still as a rock. Ellie can't hold back her tears anymore and lets them all out.

"If he's not breathing, I will choke those nurses until they die," Hadley whispers.

Ellie smiles a soft smile. "He's breathing," she walks over to his monitor, "he's breathing really well. His heart rate is phenomenal, too."

"Good." Hadley walks over and holds James' hand and whispers, "I take back everything I said. Everything."

Ellie stands there staring at James. She looks up at Hadley. "What could he have possibly done to hurt you after all that he has given you?" Ellie asks quietly, but angrily.

"He was so mad at me. He blew up in my face and stormed away. I made him seem like a cheater."

Ellie sits on the bed next to James and cradles his head and strokes his hair as she cries. She lays er head on his chest. She looks at Hadley.

"He told me he loved me. When we were little, he told me when we were older, he was gonna marry me," she says with a giggle caught in her tears. "He loves you, but he still loves me."

"Oh. Well…excuse me. I have to visit the bathroom." Hadley stutters.

She gets up, wipes her tears, and rushes to the bathroom. Ellie remains lying next to James.

"You know, I never, ever stopped loving you since we were that little," she whispers in his ear, "but it seems you haven't either."


	6. Chapter 6: The Feelings Are Shed

**Chapter Six: The Feelings Are Shed**

Hadley sits in the bathroom. "He never mentioned any of this _shit_ when we were together for the past ten freakin' months," she says to herself crying.

"Ellie?" asks a very soft and faint voice. Ellie looks to see that James is awake.

"Oh my God, James. What happened? Why did you do it? What was wro—it doesn't matter. You're okay."

James smiles and closes his eyes. "At least I know you're here," he says as he drifts back to sleep.

Hadley enters the room quietly to see Ellie sitting in a chair scrolling through her iPhone. Ellie gets up and taps James. "James? Hadley's here. Wake up and let her know that you're okay."

James opens his eyes and looks around to see Hadley.

"Hey, Hadley. I'm okay," he says with a soft smile.

Hadley walks over to his bed. "Thank God," she whispers as she kisses him on the cheek. James smiles up at her and closes his eyes once more.

"I'm tired. Thanks for coming," he says falling asleep once again.

Logan and Kendall walk through the door.

"Is he alright?" asks Kendall worryingly.

"Yeah, he's not fine, but he's far from bad. He has three broken ribs and he broke his arm," Ellie replies.

"Oh man, oh man, oh man. I still don't understand why he did it," stutters Hadley. She looks at James then at the doctor who snuck in the door. "Can I stay here overnight?" she asks him.

Ellie loses it. "You know exactly why he did what he did. He was so depressed you thought he cheated. Stay here! Who cares? You think James is going to take you back? Wrong." She storms past Logan and Kendall and out the door.

"What the HELL was that?" yells Hadley. She looks at Kendall. "Kendall, what if he doesn't want me back?"

Kendall shrugs as Logan turns and runs after Ellie.

"Kendall," she pushes his head up from looking down at his feet to look in her eyes, "you have to tell me." She puts her hands on his shoulders. "I want James back. This isn't fair. I loved him so much and he hurt me inside. I don't know what it feels like to be loved anymore," she says making circles with her finger on Kendall's chest and looking at him with seducing eyes. "Would you love me, Kendall?" she asks leaning in closer.

Kendall shoves Hadley's hands off of his shoulders. "You're disgusting. How could you do this? And, no. I wouldn't love you. Honestly, I don't know how James did it for this long. I love someone else. You don't deserve to be loved, to be honest."

"Who do you love, Kendall? You've never been in love before. You don't know what it feels like. Ellie's a bitch Kendall."

"I'm in love with my best friend. Just like James is. And, no. I'm not referring to you. She isn't a seducing little _whore_ like _you._ I love my best friend, Karlee. We've been through everything together and the little things she does everyday to make me smile just make me fall in love with her even more."

The sound of a cup of coffee is heard and Kendall turns around in response to it. He sees Karlee standing there in pure silence with a shocked look on her face. She runs to Kendall and he embraces her with a hug.

"Thanks a lot, Kendall. For everything you've done. For example, ruining my life and any relationship I had left with James," yells Hadley. She cries and sits in the corner.

The three hear a mumble.

"Oh God," whispers Kendall, "he's awake."

"What the hell is going on and why is everyone yelling?" asks James grumpily.

"_Oh shit,"_ Courtney thinks in her head. She walks over to James, still crying. "I'm sorry. A lot of drama is going on right now and it's not getting better," she says as she wipes her tears.

"Where'd Ellie go? And I thought I heard Logan. Where are my clothes? Why am I still in the hospital? I'm better!" James yells crying and scared.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" he screams at the top of his lungs.


	7. Chapter 7: Not The End

**Chapter Seven: Not The End**

"Calm down, calm down. Ellie blew up in my face earlier and Logan is out with her," Hadley says putting her hand on his arm.

"Don't touch me. Leave me alone! What's going on?" James winces and puts his hand on his chest and screams in pain. The doctors and nurses come rushing in, followed by Logan, Ellie, and Shelby. Shelby unconsciously grabs Logan's hand in fear and holds it tight. Logan looks down at their joined hands, but takes his thumb and rubs her hand with comfort.

"What did you do to him?" Ellie yells at Hadley as she cries.

"NOTHING! Kendall knows I did nothing to him. Chill out. God, I knew it! James hates me. I should have killed myself when I had the chance." She runs out the door.

"He needs to be rushed into emergency surgery," says the doctor, "one of his broken ribs is poking at his lung and irritating it.

"OHMYGOD, James!" yells Ellie. Kendall and Logan try to hold her back, but she breaks free from their grasp and hugs James. "Don't leave me," she whispers. Kendall grabs Ellie around her waist and pulls her from James, who is whimpering in fear as the doctors roll him out the door.

"Where's Hadley?" asks Shelby, who gets a dirty look flashed at her by everyone still standing in the room, "n-n-not that I care or anything," she finishes.

"Someone find her," Ellie says looking down at her feet.

Kendall and Logan exchange looks and Logan decides to go because of the interaction between Hadley and Kendall earlier.

"You gonna be okay?" Logan asks Shelby.

"Oh, yeah. I'll be fine," she smiles softly.

Logan smiles and ventures off to find Hadley.

Karlee kisses Kendall's cheek and walks over to Ellie who had dropped to her knees in the same spot James' bed had lived. Ellie runs her hand through her hair and looks at Karlee, tears streaming from her eyes. Karlee helps her to her feet and pulls her into an embrace, joined by Kendall.

Logan finds Hadley sitting outside with her face buried in her hands.

"He's in surgery right now," he says.

"What happened?"

"When he moved all around, one of his broken ribs loosened and it's irritating his lung."

"Oh my gosh," she says as she gets up and rushes inside to find everyone in the waiting room. She glances around the room to find that it is like a scene from a movie, but this was no movie. This was reality.

Ellie is crying profusely with her arms wrapped around her body. She is shaking uncontrollably. Logan is jittery and scared, but manages to keep Shelby calm. Her head is on his chest, but she makes funny faces because the material on his sweater is rather…funny feeling. He plays with the tousles at the ends of her hair to keep himself occupied and to keep his mind from worrying about what is going to happen next. Karlee is sound asleep in Kendall's criss-cross lap in the floor at Ellie's feet. Kendall talks quietly on his phone to Carlos (who is in Florida with his family) and explains everything that is going on. Hadley was just about to take a seat when the doctor emerges from the big white doors that lead to the operating room.

"He's going to be fine," the doctor announces.

"Oh thank, God," Ellie says as she brushes her tears off of her cheek. She gets up to give the doctor a hug and accidentally taps Karlee's shoulder with her foot.

"Wh-what time is it?" Karlee asks with a yawn.

Kendall takes the phone from his ear, "2:15 am," then puts it back and continues talking to Carlos.

"Where is he now?" asks Logan.

"He's in recovery," the doctor replies.

"Can we visit him?" Hadley asks innocently.

"Not while he is in recovery, but once we transfer him back to his room, we will be sure to let you know," he reassures.

"Ok, thanks so much," she turns to Ellie, "I know you kinda hate me, but I don't think it's fair that you're getting all of James' love. We both obviously love him, but you're making him favor you."

"I'm making him favor me? Oh no, no, no. Why was he rushing over to my house? Why did he crash his car? I'm not making him favor me. I'm just being there for him," says Ellie calmly, but straightforward.

"So am I! If I'm not trying to be there for him, then why am I even here? I want him to love me, but he doesn't anymore."

About 2 hours later, James is back in his room. Everybody has gone home, except Hadley. She sit by his bedside with her eyes on his monitors like a hawk. She sees James eyes flutter open

"James? James, are you okay? Can you breathe?"

He cringes his face, "Yeah, I'm fine. I just feel like a truck ran over me , but I'm good, I guess, considering."

"I'm sorry for the way I acted. I'm sorry for all the bad things that have happened and for all the horrible things I called you. It's all my fault. I just, I love you so much and I never thought I would be this close to literally losing you."

James sits there for a moment completely silent.

"What? Is there something wrong?" she asks anxiously.

"I'm just thinking," he responds.

"Take your time, sweetie," she says placing her hand on his head.

"Where did everyone go?" he asks purposely moving his head to remove Hadley's hand from his hair.

"They went home to rest. I stayed here overnight. So, do you still hate me?"

"Hadley, I appreciate you being here, but can we talk about this tomorrow? I just got out of surgery. I need to rest some more."

She looks at him with teary eyes. "Anything for you."


	8. Chapter 8: Or Is It?

**Chapter Eight: Or Is It?**

James' phone rings later on that afternoon.

"Hello?" James answers sounding a little tired.

"Hey, James. It's me. I just wanted to see how you are. You sound a little tired. I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Ellie? Aw, how sweet of you to say that. I'm doing a lot better, thanks," he says with a smile.

"Aww, there's that angelic voice I wanted to hear," Ellie replies laughing, "I hope everything is well."

"Thank you very much. I hope you'll stop by later."

"I will once I get out of the studio."

"Great. Well, I hate to cut this conversation short, but I have to take my medicines. I'll talk to you later, sweetie."

"Okay. Take it easy, babe."

Hadley walks in the room with a cup of gingerale as soon he hangs up the phone.

"Who was that?" she asks.

"Oh, that was just Ellie making sure I was okay."

"Here, sweetie. I brought you some gingerale to take away the taste of that nasty medicine," she says sweetly.

"Oh, thanks. Just put it on the table." James reaches his up to stretch his arms, but he comes to a point where he can barely hold them up, cringes, and puts them down.

"I'm so thankful, and I know you are, too, that you didn't die," she says as she leans down to kiss his cheek. James turns away and looks to see Kendall walk through the door.

"Hey, man. How are you?" Kendall asks.

"Good," James replies, "still stiff, though."

"I can imagine."

"You look so broken," Hadley chimes in.

"Thanks, Hadley. Thanks," says James disappointed.

"I was being, nevermind. You know what I meant," she says as she looks down at the floor.

"Do you need anything? Food? A blanket?" she asks trying to cover up her stupid statement.

"Actually, yes. Can you go to In-N-Out burger and get me a burger? I'm craving one _**so**_ badly."

"No problem," she laughs.

Kendall jumps in, "I'll keep an eye on him."

She smiles and walks out.

"Dude. She is so obsessive," James says slamming his head back into the fluffy pillow and rolling his eyes. "What doesn't she understand about me saying 'we're done'? Is it that confusing?"

"Not at all, buddy," Kendall replies snickering.

"So, what is the situation between you and Karlee and Shelby and Logan?"

"Well, Karlee and I are dating now and so are Logan and Shelby. Logan finally got the balls to tell Shelby that he liked her. He was all choked up and finally was like 'So much _shit_ is happening right now and I don't' wanna go through it without you by my side.' Gahh. Logan is so…fluffy." Kendall says laughing.

James and Kendall share a small laugh until James grabs his chest and coughs. "Ow, it hurts to laugh," he says frowning.

"I'm bbbaacckk!" Hadley says marching through the door. "Fast, right?"

Kendall rolls his eyes and James takes a huge bite out of his burger.

"Ohmygosh. That is so good. Thanks, Ell—Hadley," James accidentally says. He just shoves more burger into his mouth. Kendall looks around as if that didn't just happen and Hadley, surprisingly, does the same. She takes a breath and sits down.

She looks at James, who is eating rather quickly. "Slow down," she says.

Two minutes later, James begins coughing and turns a light tint of blue.

Hadley begins to panic. "James! James! Sit up straight!" she yells as she pats his back.

Kendall yells out the door panicking and shaking, "Can we get a nurse or a doctor or something? He's choking!"


	9. Chapter 9: This Isn't My Goodbye

**Chapter Nine: This Isn't My Goodbye**

The doctors and nurses pile in one right after the other zipping in and out with different equipment in hand everytime. The doctor looks down James' throat to see that he has aspirated a piece of his cheeseburger.

"I'm calling Ellie," Kendall says as he makes his way out of the room.

"Don't call her. She'll make matters worse," replies Hadley.

"As if you're any better, Hadley. Now shut up and get out of the people's way." Kendall grabs his phone and can barely tap in the numbers due to the fact that he is shaking so badly.

Hadley walks up to one of the observing doctors and grabs him by his lab coat. "Tell me he will be okay or I will KILL you."

"Ma'am, I am going to have to ask you to leave the floor at this time," he replies sternly.

"LEAVE THE FLOOR? If he dies, I blame you. All of you," she says in a deathly voice.

"Miss, I am trying to make this easier on you. You can either leave the floor or leave the hospital." As he says this, Hadley cringes to the sounds of James' hoarse coughs. She leaves the floor and shakingly awaits downstairs. Outside, she can hear the sound of high heels running up the sidewalk, followed by heavier sounding sneakers trailing behind. Ellie and Logan burst through the revolving door and enter the lobby and see Hadley sitting there.

"What's going on, now?" asks Ellie as she wipes the hair out of her face.

Hadley remains quietly sobbing. Ellie and Logan exchange looks and run to the elevator. They reach the floor and are greeted by Kendall yelling as he jumps in front of them.

"You can't go in the room!"

"Why not, Kendall? What the hell is going on?" asks Ellie impatiently.

"Is he not breathing?" Logan asks sadly.

"He respire—aspir—he has a piece of a damn cheeseburger in his lung," Kendall replies, "and here we thought he was getting better."

Ellie scans around the floor. "Why is Hadley downstairs? Just wondering."

"She got kicked out," Kendall replies with a small chuckle.

Twenty minutes later Logan goes down to the lobby to give Hadley status on how James is doing.

"I want to see him," Hadley demands.

"We aren't allowed in the room."

"Is he okay? What are they doing to him? I just wanna see him. He could die."

"I don't think he's gonna die, Hadley. And I wouldn't wanna see him if I were you," Logan says looking down at his feet and playing with his jacket sleeve.

"What do you mean? Of course I want to see him! I love him!" she says furiously.

Logan backs up, but defends himself. "Hadley, we ALL know you love him. You have been crying all damn day! Kendall fucking threw up when we caught a glimpse of what they were doing to James. He has a fucking tube shoved down his throat! You don't want to see him!" he yells as a tear trickles out of the corner of his eye. He gasps in a breath of air and walks towards the elevator shaking his head.

"_I have to get up there somehow," _Hadley thinks to herself. She looks to the door to see Shelby and Karlee walking in.

"_That's it. I'll walk in with them,"_ she says in her head.

"Shelby! Karlee! Wait up!"


	10. Chapter 10: Helpless

**Chapter Ten: Helpless**

Karlee sweeps the hair from her face and turns her attention to Hadley. She rolls her eyes. "What do you want?"

"You know what I want."

"A life?" Shelby intrudes.

Karlee chuckles. "Or maybe some dignity."

"Why do you treat me like I'm a bitch? I did nothing wrong," Hadley says addressing the two girls.

"It's not about who 'did nothing wrong', Hadley. It's about who makes matters better," Karlee says.

"Not worse," Shelby finishes, obviously pointing an imaginary finger straight at Hadley.

"Well, I just want to see James," Hadley says annoyed.

"Whatevs," the two girls say simultaneously.

The three of them board the elevator. Shelby and Karlee lean against one side, Hadley on the other. It was probably the most awkward feeling anybody could experience. Karlee and Shelby step out of the elevator and enter the ICU, Hadley trailing close behind, making sure no doctor or nurse catches sight of her. Ellie turns around and sees her two best friends approaching. She stops comfortly scratching Logan's back and makes her way to the girls. Hadley scoots away from the group and enters in a vacant room.

"Oh, Ellie, I am so sorry. How is he doing?" asks Shelby holding back sobs.

"We haven't got a recent update. We're anxiously awaiting it, though."

"Well, you know we're here for you, sweetie," Karlee says sympathetically.

"I know. Thank you, guys. I don't know what I would do without you."

Shelby makes her way to Logan, who stands up at the sight of his girlfriend.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Shelby asks him as they break from a hug and she plays with the spikes in his hair.

"It is just…so much. I have never been so scared or more annoyed in my life," he responds.

"I know, baby. It's hard for all of us."

"He's my best friend. He has done so much for me. Like, remember our record debut party?"

"Uh huh," Shelby says curiously.

"Remember when I fell off the stage?"

"Uh huh," she replies with a frown.

"Well, I didn't just simply fall off, as you know. My left lung was beginning to collapse due to an asthma attack that I wasn't aware I was having. I hadn't had an asthma attack for six years. Everyone thought Ellie saved my life. Which she did after a few rounds of CPR, but what helped me was my inhaler. I never carried one with me after the third year I was asthma attack free. Although it was Ellie running in with the inhaler, James was the one who told her to get _my_ inhaler out of the glove compartment of _his _car. James has always looked out for me. For all of us. We are all brothers. James is obviously the biggest. He has always thought of himself as the protector. Especially for me, since I always get into trouble and I'm one of the smallest in the group."

"Awwwh, sweetie. He'll be okay," Shelby reassures her boyfriend as a she wipes the tears from his cheeks as a tear runs down hers.

"It's just weird having the roles flipped around. I hate seeing him like this. It makes me feel sick seeing him so helpless. You know what the worst part is?"

"What is that?"

He takes Shelby's hand in his and laces their fingers together. He looks through the wall of James' room as if he could see through it.

"We can't do anything to help him."


	11. Chapter 11: Breaking Point

**Chapter 11: Breaking Point**

"Oh my gosh, Ellie," says a familiar voice behind her. Ellie turns to see one o f their best friends.

"Oh, Carlos, I thought you were in Florida?" she asks him as she approaches him with open arms.

"Well, when Kendall told me everything that has been happening, I couldn't stay in Florida. I had to be here with everyone. What exactly is going on with James?"

"James is not doing very well, at the moment. He had broken ribs then his cheeseburger is in his lung. It's all so complicated.," she says as she holds back her tears.

"Why is Kendall on the floor?' he asks curiously.

"He doesn't like seeing tubes go down his friends' throats."

Carlos makes a disgusted face, but turns his face to a smile when he sees Logan approach him.

"Carlitos! Man, bud. We missed you."

As the small reunion takes places in the rather crammed portion of the ICU, Karlee takes Kendall into another vacant room and lays him on the bed.

"Karls, really, I'm better now. I'm just upset. And, it's hot, so I was lying on the floor to keep me cool. I don't have to lay in here. I'm fi—," he was interrupted by Karlee smashing her finger to his lips.

"Shhhh," she gestures. She strokes Kendall's cheek and smiles. "I'm in love with you. You are my best friend. As sad as I am that all of this stuff is happening, I'm glad we finally realized that we're supposed to be together."

Kendall pushes a piece of dirty blonde hair out of her eyes and holds her face. "Ditto." He leans in and closes his eyes and their lips meet.

On the other side of the hallway, Hadley manages to sneak out of the room she was hiding away in. She sees Ellie pacing back and forth and approaches the doctor as he exits James' room.

"Is he okay?" Hadley intrudes.

"Hold on a minute," Ellie commands, holding one finger up at Hadley. "Do you need me to call his parents?" she asks the doctor.

"If you want," the doctor responds, "but he's just about finished."

Ellie takes out her phone to call James' parents and the moment James' door is opened again, Hadley rushes inside.

"Get the hell out of his room!" Karlee yells as she sees what's happening as she and Kendall walk out of the other room.

"He needs to rest!" Shelby continues.

"Give him a break!" Ellie finishes. The doctor rubs Ellie's back to calm her down. "She's right. Just another hour or so," the doctor states addressing Hadley.

"If I stay quiet, I'll be fine.," Hadley replies with a smartass tone.

"Yeah, you do that," says Ellie, "Hello? Mrs. Maslow?" she says walking away. Hadley rolls her eyes at her and whispers to James, "Stay with me." Kendall walks in and stands next to James.

"Wow, dude. You really screwed up."

"How dare you talk to him like that? He didn't do anything wrong," Hadley says in response to the statement Kendall just made.

Kendall looks at Hadley as he cringes his teeth together and loses it. "LOOK, I CAN TALK TO JAMES HOWEVER THE HELL I WANT. HE IS MY BEST FRIEND AND HAS **BEEN** MY BEST FRIEND WWWAAAYYY BEFORE YOU WALKED INTO THE PICTURE. SO DON'T_ YOU_ DARE TALK TO _ME_ LIKE THAT. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT."

Hadley scoots closer to James and crouches behind his head.

"You think he's gonna protect you? He is fucking unconscious. He can't protect you," Kendall says still pissed off.

Logan comes in due to all the yelling. "K, please come down."

"Logan, he's gonna kill me!" Hadley shoutxs.


	12. Chapter 12: GoodbyeThe Hard Way

**Chapter 12: Goodbye…the Hard Way**

"Just let him calm down," Logan yells at Hadley.

"Logan, we have to go pick up James' parents," Ellie says addressing Logan, ignoring Hadley's freakout.

"Logan, you can't leave me!" Hadley says as she grabs Logan by his sleeve, walking over to the side of the room.

"Logan!" Ellie yells.

"Get the hell off of me, Hadley. Grow the hell up already," Logan says as he yanks his arm from Hadley's grip. He walks over to Kendall and bumps his fist to his. Logan walks over to Shelby and takes her hand in his. Shelby looks up at Logan with knowing eyes. Shelby knows how sensitive Logan is. She knows how much he hates drama. She knows how much her boyfriend wants his best friend to be okay.

"Let's go, baby," Shelby says as she cups his face with her hand, "James will be fine."

"But, Hadley…" Logan replies as he cuts eyes at the girl who was hovering over James like a bird over prey.

"But, Hadley what? There is nothing she can do. James know what he wants. She isn't it." She kisses Logan softly on the lips. They break apart, but Logan pulled her back in close to him and wrapped his arms around her waist while he pressed his lips hungrily against hers. He had never wanted anyone so badly before, but seeing as how much James and Ellie have gone through, he wants that same kind of love with Shelby. Ellie can't help but smile at the two, but is quick to break them apart to leave the hospital. Karlee walks up behind Kendall and turns him around by his belt loop. Kendall looks away at the floor, avoiding eye contact with his girlfriend. He wants to cry and he knows that if he looks in Karlee's eyes, he wouldn't be able to do anything but give in to her gaze. He grabs Karlee's hand and kisses her hair.

"I love you, but I have to be angry. I have to yell. I have to defend him," he whispers as an unwanted tear trickles out of the corner of his bright green eye.

Karlee wipes the tear off of his face. "Kendall, I know. I'm not the one who's stopping you from beating her ass. If I were in control of you, her ass would be in the ground by now," she says seriously and somewhat loud enough for Hadley to hear. Kendall giggles at his girlfriend's remark and as she walks away, he turns back around to James' bed, gripping the rail to prevent himself from biting Hadley's head off. He can't help but notice that Hadley is about to cry again.

"God, the hell's your problem, now?" Kendall asks smartasstically (new word!).

"My problem? Uhmm, you're the one who has the problem with James and I being together," Hadley replies.

"Ha, you and James aren't together anymore, _remember?"_ Kendall responds as Hadley flashes back to the moment where James left her apartment slamming the door after he said it was over. "He dumped you," Kendall finishes. Hadley looks at James then back at Kendall. Kendall turns around to see Ellie, Logan, Shelby, and James' parents. They all were crying by this point.

"Hadley, can you please leave the room?" Ellie asks quietly.

"Why do I have to leave? I'm fine where I am," she responds.

"Have some respect and give James' parents some time with their son," Karlee says.

"James' parents? Oh my gosh, I'm so sor-," Hadley tries to say until she is interrupted by James' mom.

"Leave please."

Hadley gets up and walks out of the room, with Kendall, Logan, Shelby, and Karlee trailing behind. Carlos hugs Kendall and they all sit down.

"Why didn't they ask Ellie to leave? That bitch fucking stole my boyfriend," Hadley mumbles angrily.

"She didn't steal anybody," Carlos says as he slowly stands up.

"You don't know about everything that's happened, Carlos," Hadley snaps as she waves a hand shooing Carlos away.

"Yeah, but I know enough. James would never want to hurt a fly. He couldn't! You accused him of doing horrible things that he would never think of doing. He fell in love with his best friend. Ellie is an amazing girl. She works hard, she's sweet, she's pretty and is a hell of a lot more of a best friend to us than you are. You do nothing but claim James as your puppet. You don't deserve James and he deserves way better." Hadley looks at Carlos confused.

"What the hell are you trying to say, Carlos?" she asks, "That Ellie deserves him? Oh, nonono. She's done with James. She gave him to _me._"

"Do you hear yourself? You're talking about my best friend as if he's an…an item on a shelf! You're being so egotistical and so selfish. Do you honestly think that James loves you anymore? No. He doesn't. So go the hell home." Carlos says furiously.

"Nobody likes you," Logan says as he gets up and clasps Carlos' shoulder.

"And James doesn't even want you here," Kendall finishes as he puts his hand on Carlos' other shoulder.

Hadley wipes the tears of defeat that streamed out of her eyes and walks out of the hospital.


End file.
